Creating Work Life Balance

I wrote this article eight years ago, when life was a bit different and my kids were younger, but guess what? I’m still struggling to find the balance even with kids who are closer to adulthood or already there. It’s not easy! I realize I don’t even take my own advice about not overbooking, but I wouldn’t be me if I did anything different!

Here is the original piece in all of its glory:

By no means do I consider myself to be an expert on balancing life. Like many women, I strive for perfection, but at times it can all come crashing down when unforeseen calamities present themselves. How everyone copes is a personal choice, but I have found that by applying some of the same strategies I use at work for planning, organizing, and communicating, I have been able to achieve a well-balanced life both on the professional and personal fronts.

Here are some of my tried-and-true ways for creating balance in a chaotic, every-changing world:

Develop a Support Network

Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help from family, friends and neighbors if needed. Life offers many surprises, and you need to be prepared by creating back-up and emergency plans; always have a contingency. I am very fortunate to have family close to where I live, but I know others cannot call upon people the way that I can. I try to help my neighbors when I know they may need it and stand ready to help out at a moment’s notice.

Stay Ultra Organized

Yes, at times my husband accuses me of being slightly anal, but I stick to a successful routine that helps me get my kids ready for school so I can get out the door early and off to work. This means I lay out their school clothes and my work clothes the night before, I pack their lunches and my lunch, and I plan our meals for the week with a spiral bound notebook that makes me feel a bit like General Patton preparing for battle. I make sure I have gas in my car, that bills are paid on time and that any social engagements or plans are noted in this simple manner. I am also a big believer in Planning Calendars with stickers noting sports practices, games, parties and field trips and I refer to mine frequently.

Find Reliable Childcare

It is very critical to find someone who is capable of watching your children while you are at work. You need to feel comfortable and confident that your child is in the best possible place. One time I got a call that my son’s day care was being closed because of concerns about safety. Fortunately, I was able to find another caregiver very quickly, but I was rattled for days. It is hard with so many demands on our time to stay involved, but it’s critical. Get involved with your child's care provider by communicating frequently and observing interactions between caregiver and your child. If there is something amiss, you need to know about it rather than being caught by surprise by a call.

Create Time for Yourself

It is my opinion that the best parents are those that are good to themselves first and foremost. Whatever quality time means to you, whether it is cooking, reading, getting a manicure, or working out, take the time to do something meaningful for you. In the long run, you will feel a lot better and more refreshed and ready to take on the many tasks that will occupy your day-to-day life.

Remember Your Limits: You Can’t Do Everything

For many years, I was the ‘entertaining queen,’ having people over for informal gatherings and cooking at a moment’s notice for everyone I have ever met. While I personally find cooking relaxing, cleaning is not my favorite activity and I found I was spending a great deal of money, time and energy on these weekly activities at the expense of my family. Now, I limit myself to only a few gatherings each year. Every now and then I find I have to set limits. Without limits it's difficult to say "no" and stick to it. Remind yourself often that your boundaries are necessary for balancing your work and family.

Try to Be Flexible

When things change on a moment’s notice, it’s hard to be flexible, but life with children often requires it. Perhaps you were planning a big event recently on the day school was canceled due to snow. Never get too comfortable, because as soon as you seem to get things under control, they change! Sometimes you have to give up your original goals and substitute them with new ones. This is okay and it shows the people you work with that you are adaptable and able to meet challenges head on. This is most certainly a recipe for success in the long term.

Enjoy Time with Your Family

I try to make it a point to spend time with my kids on activities that are fun or educational. Sometimes we take them to see exhibits in museums or we attend sports events. Other times, we visit the zoo or go on nature hikes. Sometimes we have a cooking class, and my mom comes over and we make homemade pasta. Wherever your interests may lie, make time to enjoy time with your children and let them see you relaxed and enjoying what life has to offer.

Letting Go of Guilt

I have known more than a few women who have lamented that they are away from their children and missing their lives while they are at work. This is a natural emotion, but it is a waste of emotional energy. It can be very debilitating. Focus on the positive of what you are bringing to the table by working – setting a strong example for your children and providing them with a template for life that will prove meaningful long term well into the future.